He wants to build a few things for our place to be nice. My boyfriend and I just moved in together. He is a master of put-downs, insults, and mean-spirited behavior. Am I wrong or he is a douchebag? Oompa-loompa orange tan with frosted lips, fake nails and tramp stamp? As soon as you start in, he cuts you off. He never plans to marry you, have children with you, or be an equal contributor in your lives together. Does he think of you as his last girlfriend? They want, more than anything, for people to believe in the same fantasy that they have about themselves.
You have three really heavy boxes you need to move out to your car. You want him to stay instead and when you say something to him, he gets even more upset with you. That is not how the game is played. You stare at him in total disbelief. Tomorrow comes and goes, and still no phone call. You get stuck with the bill and it comes out of the money you had set aside for rent.
When you first meet them, they put on an act and place you in the center of their world. You throw on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. At first glance, a narcissist is incredibly charming. Your boyfriend is a few minutes later than usual and it looks like he stopped and got fast food on his way over. Why should he care so much about his looks when the two of you are supposed to be a couple? You want to have a picnic with friends.
You sit down with him on the couch and ask him what his goals are for the future. Ladies, this is not someone you want to spend time with. He sits down at the kitchen table and pulls out a cheeseburger and fries. However, if he is always on the phone and never has any problems yapping away with other people, then there is a serious problem with the relationship. Give it a cry for two days and on the third day make a solid plan to never allow a douchebag back into your life again. Probably not if he is keeping you away from them. However, if he wants to do something you are not thrilled about, he gets it.
Not only did you wait patiently for him to get back, but you actually missed him while he was gone. Chances are though that you know if you are one or not, in case you don't take this test to find out just how high you rank on the Douche-o-meter. Then after a month, you sleep with him and he calls you the day after to tell you that there is no chemistry. It dawns on you that he had no plans on spending the holiday with you. It is okay if your date is short on cash now and again. She will start to interrupt dates and have meltdowns where she will insist he either talk to her on the phone or stop over so that she can feel better. He would rather stay home and invite the guys over for some video games.
Maybe you should stop giving into him all the time. If a Douche Move applies to you, give yourself that many Douche Points. Again, he is fiddling with his hair until you pull up to the pizza shop. From Archie Andrews, Kevin Keller and Moose Mason to Jughead Jones, Fangs and Sweet Pea, we're all destined to end up with one of those ridiculously good looking guys - but which one is destined to be your soulmate? He'll help me out if I really need something. Maybe I really should give him more space, you think. He always expects special treatment.
Or do you deserve to take the Douche Bag Walk of Shame? If not, move on to someone who can handle a conversation. Then he tells you that he has been back since yesterday and that he was busy hanging out with the guys all day. You bought a little tree for your apartment and already bought your boyfriend a few gifts, wrapped them, and placed them under the tree. You like to kick back and daydream about the future. When you ask him about making plans for the future, he totally blows you off. If you want to do something that he is not interested in, it is a no go. For one, he will make you feel like crud most of the time and to top it off he will make you think that it is all your fault.
Will you end up with a Northsider or a Southsider? Okay, you think to yourself, he must be tired after all of that driving. You ship everybody in the school, but who should you hit the diner with? His brother looks absolutely surprised that there is someone, you, with his brother. As you wait for him to get there, you take a quick rinse off in the shower, thinking about where the two of you could go out to eat tonight. You know that there are three parties going on tonight and you want to stop by at least one of them. I can count on him for anything.
Once they know they have you hooked, they turn on you and their true colors shine on through. You will fail miserably because a true jerk does not want to change. Has he mentioned you to any of his family members? You, however, address her as Girl, and without any hint of irony. All you want is for your man to come over and give you some snuggle time. You call your boyfriend up and see if he wants to come over.