A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. My Grandma Ann always has a joke up her sleeve. Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book? Luke through the keyhole to see! Do you know some naughty jokes which we do not yet have on this list? That is exactly the kind of jokes that we have for you. Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation! Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on? Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? A: They got married in the spring. Q: Which month do soldiers hate most? A: Because the cow has the utter.
Suddenly, the skies opened and it began to rain. Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? What happens when you get scared half to death twice? They are reminded that it's illegal to shoot anything but ducks. Q: What kind of emotions do noses feel? Apparently they had bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together , left me behind without as much as a note. I thought maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer, so we tried a Jameson's, nope! Mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas! Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? The idea is to die young as late as possible Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long. Q: Why did the boy eat his homework? One day he made the teacher quite surprised.
A: Because then it would be a foot! A: Because it runs through your jeans. While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? When the tour arrives at Belfast he decides to go for a stroll with the aim of taking in this new culture. Redheads think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls. He had no interest in aiding their descent, just wanted to see how they behaved in free fall. Joke 18 Q: Why can't Tom Brady get into his own driveway? A: The library because it has the most stories. What did one broke hooker say to the other? Call the Police Q: What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry? Q: How do you organize a space party? Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor? Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump.
Harvard grad: I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions. Q: Why don't skeletons fight each other? A: They sit next to their fans. She says to a man next to her: The driver just insulted me! I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay. Touch your arm, does that hurt? There is great need for a sarcasm font. Q: What do you call a very religious person that sleep walks? Q: How do baseball players stay cool? A: His trousers fit him like a glove. Carlos Ponderism for today: If I can't choose between an angry psychic and a sad psychic, I'll have to find a happy medium.
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? Q: What do you get when you plant kisses? Q: How did the farmer mend his pants? Q: How do you repair a broken tomato? Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from our house. A: You spread its little legs. Second, I'd advise you to relax. Why must I prove that I am me to pay my bills over the phone? Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? A: The police are calling it an axe-i-dent. You could tell it was time for him to retire during his last race when he had his blinker on the whole time. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. Presently, he was out of altitude, and had to turn his attention to opening the chute. Surgeons apparently found an iPhone, one Nokia, two Samsungs, a Motorola and three different men's Siemens inside her! Hhad shall I do with my clothes? Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch? Q: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Q: Why did the log fall into a creek? Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. Q: What did the man say to the wall? Q: What's easy to get into but hard to get out of? Redheads will tell ya to kiss my lily, white ass. You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in Spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then. But only 10 % enters the partner, which means that 360 liter floats away. A: When you're eating a watermelon! Murphy goes to his friend Pat and says.
Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. Q: Did you hear about the limo driver who went 25 years without a customer? When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice. After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman.
Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party? Joke 14 Q: What does Tom Brady do when his team has won the Super Bowl without cheating? A: A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night! Q: Where do boats go when they get sick? How do we find an egg in all of this shit? He began his series of questions: Tower : How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet? Q: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. A: He had his head in the clouds. In general, the report concludes, overweight people are happier, more successful in business, smarter, and friendlier. Dress her up like an altar boy.
Why is everything delivered by a ship called cargo but if it's delivered by a car it's a shipment? A: a Roman Catholic Q: Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? Joke 1 Q: Why did Tom Brady miss his flight for the big game? Joke 3 Q: What has eight arms and an I. How do you get a nun pregnant? How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same? What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels! In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. Q: What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? ~~~~~ Why did the chicken cross the road? What is the best part of a blowjob? Q: What kind of flower doesn't sleep at night? They cannot go a day without potatoes, so to kill an Irishman. Little Johnny: Tent Teacher: A finger goes in me. A: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake! He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. A: People kept pushing its buttons.
Q: Did you hear about the calendar thief? What do you call two men fighting over a slut? Q: When do you stop at green and go at red? A: He blew away Q: When I was young there was only 25 letters in the Alphabet? A: O I C U Q: Where does bad light go? Pretty sure she's going to get me something. Pat, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the Pastor. Q: What word looks the same backwards and upside down? Aircraft: I can see that it reads 180 mph on the Airspeed dial in front of me. What did one ocean say to the other? A: Because he wanted to work over-time! Redheads think no place is the wrong place. A: To get to the second hand shop. Why did the storm trooper buy an iphone? I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.